------------------------------------------------------------------------ Diego: "Teamwork, the only way to die!" (Andrew, Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hannibal: "You look a lot like the last person we killed." Nova: "Yeah, that was probably my twin sister." Hannibal: "Identical twins, how doublemint." (Ryan and Blake, Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Lizzy: "I can't shoot him anyways..." Kansas: "I can." *Blammo!* (Ryan and Christopher, Deadlands) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "I sugest we be completely honest...And then run him over." (Rachel Seaman, Cyberpunk 2.0.2.0.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Lizzy the Vampire: "An Anurism? That's where blood spurts from their head. It's sort of like a drinking fountain." (Ryan, Deadlands) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ryan: "Ground under the foot of an angry Egyptian God? Well, there are worse ways to go..." Christopher: "Name one!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jennie: "I'm not a schitzophrenic! I role-play!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ *Spacer dodges a mini-missile* Spacer: "I win!" *mini-missile relocks* Hannibal: "Not Yet." (Josiah and Ryan, Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ *After gunning down Blake's new character* Gladis: "Go over and check him out." Hannibal: "Umm, him's not Sanford." Gladis: "What do you mean?" Hannibal: "Him's not a him it's a Her." Gladis: "Oopsey." (Luke and Ryan, Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Felix: "I don't think I like having Instant Messanger on my rifle." (Jennie, Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ *Twitchy is being hit on by the gay pilot of a chopper they need* Diego: "Psst! Hey, take one for the team!" (Andrew, Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ *Floating in space, Hannibal is bonked on the back of the head by a Nuke.* Hannibal: [turning to his partner] "It's for you..." (Ryan, Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Felix: "Nameless has lost his sense of wonder." (Jennie, Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Japanese toilet: "Domo Arigato gaijin!" CC Weasel: "Umm.. ditto..." (Ryan and Christine, Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jack's Famous Last Words: "Fuck it! Will somebody get that guy?!?" (Eric, Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ *A cleaning bot is trying to mop up a pool of blood* Felix: "Well that's convenient, yet yucky..." (Jennie, Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Alina: "If you strike me down I will become more powerful... *ZORCH* GOD DAMNIT!" (Jon, Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Motto of Team Mass Chaos: "Sia più astuto dello scoiattolo" (Be smarter than the squirrel!) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "You know, silence can be a learned response..." -- Dan Brandow "Or an inflicted condition." -- Christopher Webb ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jimmy: "Look, I'm sorry." Felix: "Sorry. That's an expensive word." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ryan: "Zortech--Melee weapons for a more enlightened age." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "We just saved the world from total annihilation and this is the thanks we get?!?" --Splice the Netrunner ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "I am patient like the Hummingbird, waiting to strike..." --Eric the temporarily insane archer (Jon, Mythus) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ *Ryan is watching Andrew's mutant animal army crush a village during an NLT game* "It's times like this when the only proper thing to say is: 'Faster Scorpopotami! Kill, Kill Kill!'" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "I'll chase you here I'll chase you there I'll chase you almost anywhere You cannot escape Your predestined fate With this bazooka I'll obliterate!" --Jennie Seay ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Charis the Medic: "Thou shalt not tempt!" Jessé the Fixer: "But that's my job..." --Noelle and Ryan (Cyberpunk 2.0.2.0.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ During a Star Wars game: "This is crazy! She's ploting Astrogation courses like she's rolling dice!" --Travis ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Andrew: "This is how Nature says, "I'm gonna mortar your ass!"" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Nameless: "Ug. Me hungry. Me get food. Oh wait, I'm talking like a solo." Aleena: "Hey, I resemble that remark!" Felix: "Yeah, say that again to my assault rifle." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ GM: "They fire two more grenades at you." Jon: "More gas grenades?" GM: "You don't know." *Jon smiles, as if he's finally figured it out* Jon: "I put on my gas mask..." GM: "Boom." Jon: "Damn." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rook: "213th, your order is to put them to sleep, their eternal sleep. Attack." Cal: "Do I get to tuck them in? No Dinner, No Glass of Water and NO BEDTIME STORY! Now go brush your teeth." Maggie: *groan* "Someone remind me to smack Cal after the fight." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ryan Holland: "Oh! Oh! Can I tap the "We're Fucked" card now?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Later that campaign: "It's time to tuck them in... ya'll know the rest." -- Cal Ratchet (doing his Matt Rook imitation) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jacobe: "I fought a dragon. I am Jacobe Dragonsbane!" Kit: "You almost got yourself killed!" Jacobe: "The dragon was almost defeated before I was ordered to retreat!" Kit: "It was more worried about the rest of us than you." Jacobe: "Dragons are a stupid race and I am going to wipe them out." Kit: "He probably thought it was mosquito season and ignored you!" Jacobe: "I am Jacobe Dragonsbane!" Kit: "Shut up!" --Travis and Ryan (Aelstrom) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Matt B.: "You know, you could be replaced by a monkey." Ben: "I know. I've got him all picked out." Matt B.: "Well, why isn't he here?" Ben: "He's been bad. He's being spanked." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Once upon a twisted GURPS game--   Borg: "Resistance is Futile!"   T'Plani: "No, resistance is fun! Teaching a Klingon manners is futile..."   Borg: [undaunted] "You will be assimilated!"   T'Plani: "This is gonna suck." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Hey Felix what are you doing with that big gun? UHHH, Felix. UMMM, squse me. Ummm, could you not smile like that? FELIX." --Spyke Nitro (Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "If it moves, shoot it. If it doesn't move, shoot it 'till it moves!" --motto of the Decker's Derelicts (c. 3017) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chris: "What do you get for a 10 month old that obviously has everything?" Joy: "A therapist." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Diana: "Del Coronado is a city of confrontation, escalation, and crash evasion..." --Ryan's assassin NPC (Cyberpunk) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ GM: "Barely functional, the ship falls out of hyperspace..." Ryan H: "What are the conditions in engineering?!?" Jon: "It's dark." Ryan H: "Can you be a little more specific?" Jon: "It's cold too." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Andrew: "I hate zee Fransh. Zey keep meking me ring zis stoopid bell!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "I got it! Throw the Halfling in and see what happens!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jon: "This is the captain speaking. Everything is OK. Pay no attention to the Arabian Terrorsists in your hallway. They are just there for your protection. Please go back to sleep. Thank you. That is all." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The 213, the ultimate in party excitement. Invite them to your next party and they will make a big impression on you. The 213th is a blast for all of your party activities, you don't have to worry about this party being a dud. So put in a call to your nearest Comstar rep, your time is running out! --Jon Schow (after the party blew-up a formal dinner) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "So how do we get there?" *map floats down from ceiling* "I love those guys." --Haven meets the Deckers (Ryan, Shadowrun) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Guard: "What is the meaning of this!?" Jon: "This is the man that you have been looking for." Guard: "And who are you?" Jon: "I am no one of consequence..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "It's good to revel in your inner heartless bitch sometimes." --Felix, Cyberpunk 2.0.2.0. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Julia: "While Diego is still passed out I think we should tatoo his arm." Ryan: "With what?" Julia: "I am NOT a solo." --Cyberpunk 2.0.2.0. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jon: "I've been bitched!" Kyle: "Did you just use 'bitch' as a verb?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Gregor: "Commodore, wait one moment." (closes channel) Rocky: "You hozer, you just put a commodore on hold eh?" Gregor: "Aye, one of me ancestors was in tech support." --Matt and Ryan ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "There is one argument for the Creationist's drivel: humans are still the 'dominant' species on this planet." -M. Sean MacLaren, M.D. [Rocky checks his watch and looks at the sky] "Not for long eh?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ryan: "Never, ever, under any circumstances, let a drunk Ranger fire a Welsh longbow into a melee combat situation--ever!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Io: "Hand it over." Splice: "What are the magic words?" Io: [glaring] "Or else." --Ryan and Jon ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Trapped in the hold of a Star Wars freighter-- Kristen: "Can I use the force to sense how many people are out there?" GM: "Sure, roll it." *She tosses the dice, rolling a critical failure* Kristen: "There's.... there's a Rancor in the cargo bay!!!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ GM: "The posse just rode up, what do you want to do?" Kyle: "I'll point to my sign: 'Horse parking: $5'" Sheriff: "You're all under arrest!" Kyle: "Oh well, my prices sucked anyway." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ GM: "The fusion reactor detonates, sending the plasma wave over you. Any famous last words?" Jon: "What a cheesy special effect..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ More Battletech wisdom from the 213th Squadron: "Can I ask something of you Anna?" questioned Rook "Sure," replied Anna, "what?" "Don't have sex with leaders of known worlds!!!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ King: "On the quest to save my daughter you may keep any treasure that you find as payment." Ryan H: "And what if we don't find dirt?!?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ (In a cyberpunk game) Jon: "I want some Taquilla!" Barkeep: "What kind?" Jon: "Do you have Mockingbird?" Barkeep: "You want Mockingbird Taquilla?" Jon: "Yeah! Taquilla Mockingbird!" *universal groans from the group* ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rifts Wisdom from Matt: "Never throw Plasma Grenades into the Armory!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Spyke: "Does Crypt look hurt?" GM: "She's been beaten by a cyber-psycho and left for dead at the botton of a refuse littered concrete stairwell." Crypt: "The world is my oyster..." --Matt B and Ryan H. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ryan: "So you want to play Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel?" Julia: "Yep." Ryan: "On bagpipes..." Julia: "Uh huh." Ryan: "To an Islamic terrorist?" Julia: "I'm armoured." Ryan: "That's just cruel." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ What not to say when breaking into a building in Shadowrun: Guard: "What seems to be the problem sir?" Jon: "I, ummm, lost my keys?" Guard: "But that's a palm scanner." Jon: "F-me..." *firefight ensues* ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Back in the days of AD&D-- Ryan: "What did you find out?" April: "My Dwarven isn't that good, but I thought I heard them say something about 'Minotaur' and 'Undead'." Ryan: "You mean that there's an Undead Minotaur down that passageway?!?" *GM gets an evil 'I hadn't thought of that' grin* Ryan: "Oh crap." April: "Stupid elf..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dee the Dwarf: "Hey, do you think we can use the Pixie as a lockpick?" T'Plani the Elf: "She didn't mind being used as bait." Kaszandra the Pixie: "I will kill you both." --Aaron, Ryan and April (AD&D) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Having just broken into a maximum security hospital, they have placed a bomb in a potted plant... Secretary: "Umm Sirs, what are you doing over there?" Jon: "Looking for aphids?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ryan's character is posessed by a spell and starts spinning in circles with his glaive: Kyle: "Look mommy! It's the Good and Pure Helicopter Man! Mommy, where's your head?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Lisa: "There's no rule that states a Jedi can't go whoring!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Local Sheriff: "So, Miss Evans, do you believe in all those monsters?" Lara: "I'm Catholic, we believe in anything that makes us nervous." --Ryan H and Ryan D (Deadlands) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Wadda ya' want?" "I got what you want." "But whadda ya' need?" "I want what you need." "You need what I want?" "Yeah, I want that." "You got what I need to want?" "Yeah, I got that." "What are we talking about?" "I have no idea..." --Ben and Kyle ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "So how do we get an audience with the King?" [royal guard shrugs] "Say we beat the hell out of you?" [guard pales and opens the gate] "Thank you." --Ryan H. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ GM: "The Hangin' Judge continues past you, calling the name of its intended victim." Pistol Pete: "It passed right by? Going straight into town?" GM: "Yep, what do you want to do?" Pistol Pete: "I follow Death, for Death cannot make a U-turn." --Ryan H and Travis (Deadlands) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ *Slapping C-4 bricks onto the viewport of an escaping German minisub* Julia: "Fuck you Jerry!" *BOOM!* ------------------------------------------------------------------------ *Diana runs up to hug some older man* Desoto: "Who the hell are you!?!" Diana: "This is my foster father." Desoto: "I meant to say _how_ the hell are you, Sir..." --Ryan H and Ryan D ------------------------------------------------------------------------ During a game of Goldeneye and in a bad Sean Connery accent: Kyle: "Ahhh, we meet again Pussy Galore. Having sex with you is like dropping a pencil down a mineshaft..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ryan: "That's it, will somebody please make them dead?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Like, totally last century! Gag me with a phase-plasma rifle. Puh-lease!" --Ryan (playing Jennie's character at the time) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ryan H: "MMMMMmmmmm. She smelled yummy." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Teisha: "Make peace, or prepare to die!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jon: "Let's hurry up and finish these peaceful negotiations so we can get down there and begin exploiting them!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Jennie: "I've got a headache THIS BIG, and it's got LRM written all over it..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Travis: "After the disaster last game, here's the new ranged attack numbers: to make sure that people with shitty armor don't DIE with arrows..." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ GM: "The ground opens up in front of you. Your enemy, the Silver Knight, hovers above the chasm. What do you want to do?" Kyle: "I'll make another sign." GM: "What does it say?" Kyle: "Do not play on or around crevice." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "I would love to talk, but know that I let my rapier end all conversations..." --Enron Camillion (Aelstrom) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Scene Setting: Two armies crash into one another, destroying every natural thing in their path. The view pulls back to show a small Centaur group climbing out of the valley. One bends down, straightening a wildflower that his fellow accidently bumped as the battle rages in the background. The camera focuses in on his face of the Centaur as a single tear rolls down his cheek. Voice Over in Centaurese with Tread Sub-titles: "The land does not belong to us, but we instead belong to it." **Brought to you by the Save the Centaur Foundation of Anaroc** (Ryan, Aelstrom) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ryan: What will our kids make of all of this gaming sillyness--will they understand 'Breakit'? They'll probably think we're both nuts... Jennie: Oh no, I think they'll get the joke very quicky. I also think they'll be roleplaying by age 4. :-) Bad can be good . . . Ryan: Heh, I can just imagine if some of the kids in our group end up in the same grade level, or the same class! Teacher: How do you divide 34 by 15? Christopher jr: I use my +12 magical Vibro-axe! *smite* Andrew jr: Errrrrr cool! Jennie jr: Breakit! Breakit! Ryan: Ok, yes, I'm wacked. Jennie: Noooo comment.

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